Never saw it coming

The mystery investors have turned out not to be the complete fools we were assuming after all.

Seems the long-awaited sackful of folding stuff is conditional on there being some kind of sustainable business to put the money into.  They were advised this would mean the loss of the charity tax status of the ‘investment’, but they were adamant. Specifically, they want running costs cut fairly dramatically, to somewhere approaching the ‘revenue’ figures they’ve been given. This isn’t the sort of linkage our financial boys are used to, but we do need this cash.

Now, this isn’t my decision, thankfully, but if it were I’d have to consider:

• rental for the vast amount of allegedly-managed-service office space we currently (partially) occupy – regrettably tied to a cunningly negotiated lease with a get-out clause somewhere around the time of the London Olympics;
• cutting development funding still further from the three-men-and-a-dog in their distant (and cheap) locale, thereby saving maybe 2% of overall costs and further endangering our ability to deliver code that doesn’t fall over in the first month;
• reducing salaries of UK staff who might in other times have accepted a cut but are all still hanging out for overdue salaries, commissions, etc.; or
• cutting the number of people in the UK office.

Funnily enough its the last option that looks most attractive.  Trouble is saying farewell means paying the overdues and in most cases (not mine, sadly) some form of redundancy.  Which is where the mystery investors can help out.  But they won’t invest until costs are cut.

Round and round we go.  Meanwhile a new software fix came out yesterday which looks the standard ‘addresses some known issues’ upgrade, but hidden in the fine text is the ‘data loss could result’ warning.  Questions are being asked as to how such things could slip through our rigorous testing and quality management process.  Not by anyone on the inside, mind you, we’re all stunned there haven’t been more and worse, given that the rigorous quality management process got cut in the last round (lucky bugger).

So I’ve been told my services will no longer be required (how sad!) once the investment comes in and they can pay me what I’m owed (how wonderful!).  Tried to act surprised and keep the smile off my face, which was easy when I realised that we’re still talking ifs and maybes here – the sackful of readies now not likely before Christmas.

I was also too timid to do my rant about the failures of management, but avoided making a complete arse of myself and thereby kept the pay-out promise on the table.  Like Christmas this year, a case of chicken rather than turkey.